Beginning in March 2005, Reneé Baisque will be offering Bombshell Buff Fitness Seminars and training packages in Southern California! She is available for one-on-one and group consultations. To reach her, please email BombshellBuff and reference "Getting Gorgeous" in the subject line!

I  need absolute proof that my trainer not only knows what they’re talking about but that they follow to the letter the very same advice they’re giving me.  Which means they damn well better look good naked.  And that’s just the bare minimum.  For a person in the midst of changing an unhealthy way of life choosing a trainer is even more difficult because the criteria extends past the physical and into the psychological. 

 

Every time I set foot in a gym I see disinterested personal trainers guiding clients through cookie-cutter workouts and milking them for cash. Even here in Malibu where you’d think the best are easy to come by I see trainers simply going through the motions with clients rather than watching their form and collecting phone numbers for prospective clients rather than taking the time to discuss proper nutrition.  The best aren’t easy to come by anywhere and if you really want to create a beautiful body you can’t simply settle for whichever one got stuck with giving you two free sessions at the gym.  It doesn’t mean the best is the most expensive but you’ve got to be absolutely uncompromising when choosing a trainer and find one who suits your needs and has tremendous knowledge and experience of which they speak.

 

Bombshell Buff Fitness Article Series
Series Title:	Personal Empowerment Through Weight Training
Author:	Reneé Baisque
Author Credentials:	Fitness Model, National Physique Competitor, Personal Trainer, Fitness Seminar Speaker/Instructor, and professional chef.
Disclaimer:	The author in no way suggests that any form of disordered eating can be handled with diet and exercise alone.  It is highly recommended that anyone with disordered eating patterns seek professional medical care to assist in solving the underlying issues surrounding their condition.  If you or a loved one are in need of a medical referral or emotional support please visit www.nationaleatingdisorders.org or www.something-fishy.org a non-profit website devoted to awareness and support for those suffering from the disordered eating..  Please consult with a physician before beginning any new nutritional or exercise regiment.

Don’t make the mistake of trying to fool your trainer or impress them with making them think you’re already living a healthy lifestyle it’s a waste of both your time and money and you won’t get the results you want is you aren't truthful.  So it's imperative that you're100% honest with potential trainers.  Tell them point-blank what type of struggle you’re going through with your eating habits and spare nothing.  Now’s not the time for shame.  If they appear uncomfortable be warned.  They may simply be unfamiliar with how best to work with you but they may also have their own preconceived notions regarding disordered eating that might get in the way professionally.  It’s an absolute necessity to find someone who is sensitive to your particular needs and when you’re trying to change some pretty deeply etched negative messages those needs can be a little clingy and neurotic –I’m not judging, I know of which I write and I’ve got my own ghosts of neurosis kicking around in the back of my mind.

 

Look for a trainer who shares a similar body type.  They’ll know exactly how to train you because it’s the way they’ve had to train themselves.  They’ll understand the pitfalls of your particular body type and be able to show you the best way to work around them and take advantage of them.  If your trainer doesn’t understand your body type, what you’re body is going through, and how it is going to react to various aspects of training, they are absolutely useless to you.  

 

Next, you want a trainer who has a body that you aspire to and that’s just good ol’ common sense.  If they’re thin and wirey and you’re all about rock hard muscle with sexy curves then you’re better off moving on because chances are that person either doesn’t want the look you desire or doesn’t know how to achieve it for themselves, let alone guide you through the work required to attain it.  I cannot advocate relying on their word alone for this.  Just because they tell you, or swear to you on a stack of bibles that they can help you achieve your physical goals you just can’t be 100% sure unless the living proof stands right in front of you.  Ask for references if need be and follow up on them. Girls, the proof is in the pudding (or lack of it anyway…) and it helps to have someone to look to for inspiration on days when you’re having an especially difficult time believing you will ever reach your goals.

 

Third, you want a trainer you can communicate openly and honestly with.  There is nothing more secretive than symptoms of disordered eating patterns and you have to be comfortable enough with your trainer to confront some of the physical and psychological effects left in its aftermath.  You’ve got to be able to relate to them and communicate even the ugliest of truths, like your ripples of cellulite, stretch marks, or the fact that you bought a frozen pie in the grocery store and licked off all the whipped cream (my personal all-time favorite PMS pastime).  They need to know everything about the way you’re eating and working out to be able to help you create the body you want and build a sense of personal empowerment.  Which brings me to my next point.

 

Your trainer should require you not only to keep a journal of what you eat but read it and discuss it with you.  It’s not necessary they do it every week, once every three months is sufficient.  The point is that a knowledgeable trainer will care enough to require one and understand how it benefits both of you.  When I first began this journaling process with Taylor I was super-skeptical since I had previously used a food journal to keep me from eating, but slowly I began to understand the reasoning behind it.  When you journal your food intake (in addition to supplements, water intake and workouts) you begin to see the big picture of what training and proper nutrition are doing for you.  Small changes in how your body feels and reacts when it is subjected to or deprived of certain things help keep you on track, measure your progress and make necessary adjustments.  It also gives you valuable insight of your body’s responses to cheat days and certain foods.  Results, even the tiniest ones, are extremely important and journaling allows you focus on those accomplishments and relive your successes.    

 

Your trainer should also understand the relationship between nutrition and fitness and be able to educate you on it.  If on your very first session with them they don’t address your diet you should move on.  Any good trainer will be able to advise you on proper nutrition and the appropriate vitamin and supplement intake necessary for your goals.  Often-times trainers that are employed as full-time staff at fitness chains will give clients the hard sell on supplements or products sold by the gym.  If you find yourself being pressured into buying something –tell them thanks but no thanks.  I know for a fact that many of these people work on commission and while I don’t want to take any money out their pockets I’m far more committed to women’s empowerment than I am to any particular brand of energy bar.  You need someone who cares about your health and well-being, not just the size of their paycheck.

 

Trainers should also be well educated on the subject of which they teach -ask for credentials and references and follow up on them.  I’m not just talking about a distance education course graduate you need a trainer who’s been around the block –mentally.  Good trainers will have a degree in exercise physiology, have been fitness or bodybuilding competitors, or trained extensively with other trainers prior to certification.  After all, competitive bodybuilding, fitness, and physique competitors require true and absolute control over ones body and this is something anyone with disordered eating can relate to.  The kicker is those in the fitness world use this ability in a positive way and can teach others how to do the same thing.  Trusting your body to just anyone is a serious mistake that can result in complete lack of results or even worse, severe injury.  

 

Finally you want a trainer who is able to motivate you in a positive way.  Boot Camp-style workouts have gotten incredibly popular lately but their methods of motivation aren’t necessarily appropriate for everyone.  Many of them require that you push your body past failure and train in spite of illness and pain.  What’s important is learning to respect and honor your body by listening to the messages it sends you.  This means resting when you’re tired, training to failure –not past it, having a snack when your blood sugar drops too low during training, and allowing your body time to recover from illness.  When you’ve gotten a few years under your belt you can train like a hard-core bodybuilder if you choose to but right now healing your body and sticking to the basics will help you stay focused and achieve your goals in a healthy way.

 

Ultimately a good trainer will become your mentor and your inspiration while you work through a very difficult time in your life.  The good news is that once you’ve settled into a training and nutrition program your life will begin to change drastically for the better and you will finally begin to gain the sense of empowerment over your body that you’ve desired for so long.   

 

….future article: Fine Tuning, Metabolism, Mind and Motivation….

 

Bombshell Buff

Article III:  Fine Tuning Metabolism, Mind and Motivation: Personal Empowerment Through Weight Training Series

By Reneé Baisque

 

Disclaimer:  The author in no way suggests that any form of disordered eating can be handled with diet and exercise alone.  It is highly recommended that anyone with disordered eating patterns seek professional medical care to assist in solving the underlying issues surrounding their condition.  If you or a loved one are in need of a medical referral or emotional support please visit www.nationaleatingdisorders.org or www.something-fishy.org a non-profit website devoted to awareness and support for those suffering from the disordered eating..  Please consult with a physician before beginning any new nutritional or exercise regiment.

 

Personal tastes and preferences run the gamut from pure vanilla to wasabi-sweet potato and the reason choices and options exist at all is because people just don’t agree on everything all the time.  Personal ideas of physical attractiveness and ideal body type is the point I’m getting at in a round about sort of way.  While you get closer to your goal of achieving the “perfect” body not everyone (and on most days especially you) will think you’re all that.  Alas, we cannot be perfect and anyone who’s ever told you that you should be or are required to be is completely full of shit.  Not everyone shares the same idea of what’s attractive or desirable.  I happen to possess a mad, hopeless adoration for the angelically beautiful, hauntingly talented Jeremy Renner (actor, musician, and sadly unavailable man of my dreams).  On the other hand I’ve got girlfriends who prefer the sticky-sweet Matt Damon.  Looks like you can’t be everything to everyone.

 

So why do we even aspire to be?  Because we’re women?  Because we’re neurotic?  Or because as long as we focus on what we aren’t and what we have to fix we have yet another excuse for not going after what we really want?  While none of us will ever be able to gain the approval of everyone we can each grow to appreciate the person we are and body we have it just takes time and a little fine-tuning of our minds, metabolisms, and motivations.  So it’s important to make small steps toward our goals on a daily basis and meet bad habits head on.  Unfortunately they’re easy to fall into and the longer these habits are clung to the more difficult they can be to change –but it’s never too late. 

 

By far the worst habit most women have is throwing a wrench into the bodies natural metabolic process by restricting calories or saving all their calories up for only one meal per day.  Our bodies are naturally designed to consume a variety of foods (containing carbohydrates, proteins and fats) and expend it through physical activity.  According to Kenneth W. Willis MD (of the Princeton University Medical Center Eating Disorder Program and member of The Academy for Eating Disorders) when not enough fuel is consumed the body goes into a mode of self-preservation known as the starvation-response where the metabolic response slows drastically in order to conserve energy.  In this state the body fights aggressively to retain body fat to live off of and rather than burning its own fat the body turns against itself by metabolizing its own muscle for fuel.  Living too long in that state will cause the body to react in severe and often dangerous ways. 

 

The good news is that the human body is resilient and can bounce back from a stalled metabolism if you put the effort forth.  Eating a consistent, healthy diet consisting of protein rich foods, complex carbohydrates, fruits, vegetables, and free from (or used in restricted quantities) refined sugar, corn syrup, and high fructose can help whip it back into shape.  Coupling that healthy diet with regular exercise, and not just the usual hour-long-ass-kicking-cardio-session will ensure that your metabolism starts to run with the efficiency it was meant to.

 

Since I’m all too aware that just giving a list of appropriate foods to a person who is truly convinced that their metabolism is hopelessly stalled isn’t enough to get them started on the right path I can outline step-by-step the plan that worked for me.  Starting out is simple and those with an extreme desire for control will excel because that desire can be used to your advantage and help you stay on track, especially around that three month mark when the motivation starts.  Being methodical, committed, even obsessive will only help hold you to the commitment you’re about to make to your body.  But you must learn to respect your body as well, bargain with yourself, and trust what your body is telling you.  The first thing that was suggested to me was to clear the house of all trigger foods.  That is foods that are highly processed, do not come from the food chain or whatever you find yourself reaching for to settle your nerves, binge on, or can’t have just one of.  The good news is that simply changing your diet will change your life (but we already know that much don’t we?) and this way of eating can empower you.

 

If you absolutely need a book to follow religiously I highly recommend Dr. Scott Connelly’s Body Rx.  I loosely follow his program and have tailored it to suit my own needs but his program is absolutely perfect for a person who refuses to cook a single meal at home.  In fact Dr. Connelly eats almost every one of his meals out and includes meal replacement bars and shakes.  Body Rx will walk you through an entire 6-month program for nutrition and exercise.

 

So you’ve got your grocery list and cleared all the crap and trigger foods out of your house, what’s next?  If you want a little more methodical preparation before you dive in you can make sure you’ve got enough food to take you through the next few days by cooking up enough chicken, turkey burger, and brown rice and stashing it in your fridge.    If you’re ready to go set a date, mark it on your calendar and plan on having your first meal within 30-minutes of waking up.  You’ll be eating every three hours after that first meal and following this basic outline.

 

Meal Breakdown: 

            Protein:  1 Gram Per Pound of Body Weight (divided by five meals)

            Complex Carbohydrates:  25 grams maximum

            Fats:  7 Grams Maximum

            Fruit: 1 piece (fruit juice IS NOT fruit)

            Vegetables:  Unlimited amount prepared in any way without fat.

          

Daily Supplements: 

1 Basic Multi-Vitamin

3 Calcium Magnesium Supplements per day

2 Vitamin C Tablets per day

4 Omega 3 Fatty Acids Capsules per day

2 Flax Seed Oil Capsules per day

 

**Note:  Carbohydrates from fruits and vegetables are not counted toward your complex carbohydrate intake.  You are allowed one piece of fruit per meal (about 5 ounces) and an unlimited quantity of veggies**

 

Naturally the first meal of the day is the most important and among other things it will help you maintain a stable level of blood sugar and keeps your energy level up.  Every one of your five meals should follow the exact same nutritional breakdown. 

 

Your body will tell you if it’s hungry between meals and if it is you need to eat.  You can have protein based snacks like beef jerky, hard boiled eggs (1 whole plus 3 whites), low-fat string cheese, a banana with a quarter-cup of walnuts or almonds, or a half-cup of low-fat cottage cheese topped with fresh fruit.  These are all clean foods that are low on the Glycemic Index and will maintain your blood sugars stability.  Why is this so important?  Because the Gylcemic Index  (also referred to as the GI) is a list that ranks foods according to how they are digested and turned into glucose (or blood sugar) by the body. A food that is low on the index is digested at a slower rate than ones that are higher on the index.  When food is digested slower your blood sugar is able to remain stable and support body cells with the appropriate amounts of energy.  When a food is digested quickly –as a candy bar would be, for example- it causes a quick spike in blood sugar.  This spike will provide you with almost instant energy, convert excess blood sugar into fat, and then your energy level will drop almost as quickly as it kicked in…leaving you feeling hungry.  So you want to keep your blood sugar stable to keep your body’s metabolism running properly and sugar cravings at bay.  Once again you’re eating every three hours, even if you aren’t hungry.  When your body gets used to the fact that there is a steady supply of nutrition waiting coming in it will no longer need to maintain the starvation response and adjusts accordingly.  What that means to you is the body will no longer need to store fats to use as an energy source and can now begin to expend them instead.  

 

I eat at least five meals a day and take a total of 3-calcium magnesium supplements per day, in addition to 4-Omega Fatty Acid Supplements (which promotes positive hormonal balance), one Multi-Vitamin, 2-Flax Seed Oil capsules (to reduce bloating and water retention), 4-Chewable Papaya Enzyme tablets (to aid in digestion) and 2-Vitamin C Supplements.  Several months into training you can certainly begin to take amino acid supplements, I do and I absolutely love the results but it’s something I suggest taking up with your trainer rather than giving an across the board recommendation on dosages.  It’s necessary for me to have a meal within 30-minutes of working out and my body almost certainly tells me I need to eat again 45-minutes to an hour later rather than waiting another three hours.  This is why I state that I eat at least 5-days a day.  More than likely it’s six meals.  And that’s five to six meals every day for six days (of course I get to have anything my heart desires every seven days in what is known as a “cheat” day).  If you’re considering following this particular style of eating and are struggling with disordered eating patterns you’re probably biting your nails because it sounds like tons of food.  Take comfort in the fact that it’s clean food.  For all intents and purposes clean food is the nourishment that your body needs to replace your body fat with lean muscle.  Clean food makes you lean, strong and gives you energy to accomplish you goals change your body and your life.  And you need something to wash that all down with and the mainstay should be water.

 

Water detoxifies your blood, skin and organs in addition to hydrating your body, staving off bloat, purging your body of sodium and satisfying your thirst.  You need to aim for a gallon every single day and if at any point you incorporate amino acids into your regiment a gallon a day is the absolute minimum.  Tea and coffee do not count for your water intake neither does vitamin fortified water or sports drinks.  Try and sip it throughout the day rather than chugging since your body is only able to absorb one ounce per minute.  For years ago I loathed drinking water and couldn’t fathom having to put down a gallon a day but I got used to it.  It took four years but my body actually craves it now.  If you happen to be in the same position I was then all I can tell you is get used to it.  Sometime you just have to do things because they help you accomplish your goals not because they bring you great pleasure.

 

On that note now’s a pretty good time to bring up the subject of regular exercise.  Yes, if you want to reset your body’s metabolism you must couple proper nutrition with regular exercise.  You should aim to work out four times a week, with an emphasis on weight training rather than cardio.  Cardio is important because it oxygenates the blood and helps to reduce the puffiness and bloating your body suffers from but it’s not going to replace your body fat with lean muscle mass, burn calories, or kick your metabolism into high gear with the same efficiency as weight training.  So cardio is great two or three times a week 30-45 minutes per session (on your choice of machines) and you’ve got to do at least a five minute cardio warm-up prior to training to rev up your heart rate and prevent injury.  But if you’re running short on time in the gym and you’ve got a choice between weight training and cardio, stick to the weights. 

 

Weight training is hard work but it’s more empowering than anything you’ve ever felt and once you get past the three-month mark you’ll almost certainly be addicted.  Replacing body fat with lean muscle mass gives you a personal sense of power and accomplishment that you can’t quite explain or understand unless you’ve actually experienced it first hand.  It’s an endorphin rush, a sense of pride, strength, and like a shot of extreme self-esteem and validation that a person who has been through a period of disordered eating can appreciate and understand like no one else.  You may have to force yourself, but four days a week get your butt in the gym because I can promise you that sometimes not even sex will make you feel as good as the deep burn in your muscle once you walk outta there.  That burn means you’ve shredded your muscle and are starting to replace that flabby tissue with sexy muscle.  The key is working them properly.  A good trainer like we discussed in the previous article can show you how to properly work your muscles to achieve the desired results and prevent injury.  By the way please don’t be concerned that your going to get bulky or start looking masculine.  Women simply don’t produce the testosterone necessary to achieve that look naturally.

 

If you can’t find a trainer you like right away, hang in there and enroll in a basic weightlifting class through your university or at a local gym.  In a pinch a body sculpting class will do just fine since.  It’s necessary to alternate training days for upper and lower body.  For example, train upper body on Mondays and Wednesdays and lower body on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  If you can’t get into the gym four consecutive days don’t worry they needn’t be –just get there.  You’re worth every bit of effort it takes to achieve your goals because even if you can’t achieve everyone’s idea of perfection the very first time you catch a glimpse of yourself naked in the mirror and think “sweet Jesus, is that me?” you’ll have achieved it in your own mind and that feeling is priceless.  Remind yourself of that every day because life can be better than you’ve ever known once you commit to honoring your body.

  

….future article: Hard Truths and Motivations….

 

 

Bombshell Buff

Article IV: Hard Truths and Motivations: Personal Empowerment Through Weight Training Series

By Reneé Baisque

 

I sat in traffic for 4-hours on the 10-freeway yesterday afternoon after leaving Taylor’s –I spend almost as much time in LA traffic as in the gym lately -once an hour goes by in gridlock I start getting a little ticked.  I happened to have forgotten to plug in my Ipod the night before though and the lack of musical distraction got me thinking “what am I doing here?  Certainly I didn’t need to get up at the crack of dawn this morning and drive 2-hours away to train.  My gym is 5-minutes away from home…am I insane?”  When I was finally able to settle into a decent radio station the hard truths started to hit me –that is the ugly truth about weight training and clean eating.  At the two-hour mark I started countering those truths with my own motivations and feeling a little bit better about my commitment to training.

 

I realize not everyone has the same motivation for committing to a healthy body but it’s important to know and understand what yours is even before you start your own training program.  Starting on any program without that understanding can ultimately lead to failure so I highly recommend defining yours prior to taking the plunge.  Sounds a little like a relationship doesn’t it?  Well it is, only it’s a relationship with yourself and your body and one that’s just as important as any other commitment you will make to another person.  Like any relationship the long road ahead of personal empowerment through weight training and clean eating can start feeling stale real quick and there are some things you need to prepare yourself for. 

 

10 Hard Truths and Motivations

 

1. Nothing Happens Overnight.  It will take at least a year for you to totally lean out and get to the point where all you need to do is work on maintaining.  Even if you’re working toward a softer look a year is still your target mark.  It takes professional bodybuilders, fitness and physique models upwards of three-years to prepare for competition but you cannot defy the laws of nature and will pay your dues like everyone else.  Take comfort in the fact that your body is a work-in-progress during that time and every couple of months you will see significant sometimes even seemingly miraculous changes and marked improvement in the way you look and feel. 

 

2.  Physical Change Isn’t Always A Good Thing. During the time it takes to achieve your desired look you will go through periods of bloat, fatigue, even skin changes while your hormones and metabolism begin to shift and rebalance.  If the bloat bothers you that much you may take a natural diuretic (like dandelion root –three tablets, three times a day for three days- or a combination of garlic and papaya enzymes –same rules as for the dandelion root) to rid your body of excess water once a month.  But no more than once a month since taking advantage of these diuretics too often will result in the body rebelling by retaining water instead of releasing it.  Lots of fitness magazines carry advertisements for pills that keep water weight off but understand they often carry harmful side effects that will hinder your progress and ultimately are more trouble than they’re worth.  By the way the models in those ads get paid to endorse those products (it’s bread and butter) and don’t necessarily use them…you just stick to what works even if it takes a little longer the results are worth it. 

 

Skin changes can be dealt with by increasing your water intake, keeping you skin clean and dry (and maybe the occasional cortisone shot from your dermatologist to clear up severely inflamed spots) by using a mild soap and a clean towel to dry your face with every time you wash is essential as is changing your pillowcases and sheets regularly.  I have spent far too much time at a dermatologist than every necessary trying to find the perfect skin care regiment when in reality too much is sometimes just that and simplicity is the key.  I do however know the frustration of dealing with blemishes at the least opportune times so I can recommend a product called Liquimat which can be purchased from your Pharmacist without a prescription.  The product is a combination foundation and skin treatment that works perfectly as a cover-up and can be blended to match your skin tone perfectly –bonus that it’s waterproof and can be worn during a workout without clogging your pores. 

 

The fatigue you’ll undoubtedly encounter is a normal response from the body when you are building muscle so you should try to get at least 8-hours of sleep each night and if you can sneak a nap in a couple times a week take advantage of it.  Amino acids and multi-vitamins will also help you keep your energy levels up but nothing takes the place of sleep so don’t feel guilty if you find yourself needing to indulge in a little more.

 

3.  Bad Habits Die Hard.  You will get tired of eating clean and it will be easy to lapse back into unhealthy eating habits.  This is why you should allow yourself a cheat day every week as well as taking a week off every two-months.  Giving your body the time it needs to rest and recover will increase your likelihood of sticking it out when times get tough.  Even if you don’t really feel like taking the time off make that one-day a week cheat day a routine.  Go ahead indulge yourself.  This is a lifetime commitment so take it slow.

 

4.  Being Kind To Your Body Pays Off.  Some cheat days may feel like a full-on binge and you may be tempted to compensate by over-exercising or even purging your system.  Know that doing this will actually do you more harm than good, physically and psychologically.  Over training will not help your muscles lean out, define or grow and will more than likely result in some type of injury.  That can put you out of the gym for a period of time long enough to lead to muscle atrophy.  Trying to “get-rid-of” the cheat can lead to a vicious cycle that at some point may become uncontrollable, dangerous and deadly.  It’s common for self-induced vomiting to result in ruptures of the esophagus, stomach ulcers, spontaneous vomiting, internal hemorrhaging, and strokes.  You’ve heard the saying “work hard play hard”?  That’s what you’re entitled to do now that you’re on a program so congratulate yourself on a job well done and treat your body and taste buds you’re new metabolism can now process your cheat day properly.

 

5.  Bigger Really Is Better.  There will be periods of time when both muscle and fat will be visibly present on your body and it will be frustrating and discouraging.  Don’t worry I promise your body really is metabolizing your fat and once those fat deposits have shrunk down you’ll be able to sit Indian-style in booty shorts with pride.  But yes, some days you may look at yourself and think “what the f*** is that?”  and you just may be tempted to throw in the towel altogether.  At this point you will need to either embrace your changing body and love your muscle or accept your cellulite.  At this point I highly recommend you treat yourself to a spa day with a deep tissue massage (to help break up fat deposits), invest in a good self-tanning lotion (tanned skin makes your body look more tone and defined), and begin to use a total body firming lotion nightly.  These little indulgences keep you feeling good about yourself even on the most unglamorous days.  The upside is that while you may feel a little “bigger” and not fit into your old clothes you’re body is now far more tone and will look hot in a new pair low-rise jeans and yoga pants –even if you’ve got to wear a larger size for the time being.

 

6.  Mind Over Matter Doesn’t Always Work.  There will be days when the sheer thought of eating another bite of tuna fish, salmon, or turkey burger will make you gag.  Change your scenery a little and take yourself out for a steak or lobster meal or replace a couple meals with complete the complete protein combination of beans and rice -or switch your cheat day around if need be.  If you just cannot bear another clean meal allow yourself whatever it is you're craving and promise yourself that you’ll do an extra fifteen minutes of cardio next time you're in the gym.  You can make little deals with yourself to stave off huge cheats just don’t do it too often and you’ll be just fine.

 

7.  Surround Yourself With Positive Energy.  Close friends and family members may begin to think of you as a fanatic and try to sabotage your new lifestyle through negative messages and/or encouraging extended cheats.  It may get difficult to relate to those who do not share your goals and lifestyle.  This is normal and it does a world of good to surround yourself with positive people.  Striking up friendships with other regulars at the gym is a great way to keep your mindset in check as is enrolling in adult education classes that interest you.

 

8.  Strip Down Instead Of Weighing In.  Muscle weighs more than fat and you will need to stop looking to the scale for comfort and validation.  Muscle also happens to be denser than fat and takes up less space on your body than fat which means that while the scale may tell you you’re bigger your clothing will prove your smaller.  Of course you want to look great in your clothing and you will, but looking great naked is even better.  You can accomplish both with a clean diet and training program but it takes time and commitment.  I highly recommend getting rid of your scale while you’re undergoing the process of changing your body composition.  It does no good to make positive outer changes if you insist on engaging in a daily mind-fuck with your scale. Your self-esteem is worth far more than the scale.

 

9.  Hotter Is Better Than Smaller.  The size of your butt , lats and/or thighs will increase and certain clothes will feel tighter in areas they didn’t previously.  This can be disconcerting if you were hoping to look like a ballerina, retain the same bra size or wear your 12-year old daughters capris.  The good news is that once the excess adipose tissue has been worked off you’ll be able to slip back into your regular clothing –even dropping in size if you needed to.  In the meantime wear black and know that changing your body composition is a process and you’re getting hotter and stronger every month.  

 

10.  Check Your Head.  The end result of changing your body will be meaningless if you are not right in the head.  The fact is that a year from now you may look fabulous but if you don’t believe it or simply find something else to obsess on (the freckles on your nose, the length or your hair etc…) you’ll be no better off than when you started. 

 

 

….future article: Changing Negative Messages….

 

Bombshell Buff

Article V:  Changing Negative Messages: Personal Empowerment Through Weight Training Series

By Reneé Baisque

 

Disclaimer:  Physical, verbal, and emotional abuse cause severe psychological trauma and require professional help.  If you find yourself in a situation where you fear for your personal safety please contact your local crisis center for a referral or 1-800-784-2433. 

 

Sometimes inspiration comes from the least likely places, as is the case with the final installation of Bombshell Buff articles.  I’ve recently “broken up” with someone I thought was a very good girlfriend of mine and while the loss of a friendship is always difficult to endure the loss of a toxic relationship is far more beneficial than trying to salvage the situation.  Undoubtedly we’ve all got issues, negative messages hardwired into our brains, and things we wish had gone unsaid or undone.  Life’s tough that way and if we’re lucky our parents gave us the necessary tools to make it through difficult situations either unscathed or wiser for the ride.  The unfortunate fact is that many of us don’t have those tools or in spite of developing a thick skin have succumbed to toxic relationships and the negative messages they poison us with. 

 

Meet Negativity Head On

The key to overcoming negative messages is meeting them head on rather than trying to avoid them.  Process what was said to you and understand that while you may have pushed it down and repressed it nothing will make it just go away you will inevitably have to deal with it.  You don’t need to constantly replay the message in your mind and obsess on it but make an effort to understand why and how it hurt you and how it affects your every day life.  Is it causing you to engage in emotional eating?  Avoid food altogether?  Or cause yourself emotional pain by trying desperately to become “perfect” or “invisible”?  These are all serious issues that need to be addressed and sometimes no amount of talking yourself down from them will help and you need to reach out to others.  Countering these negative messages with positive messages about yourself in a safe environment is a great step in changing those messages once and for all.  During a step class, cardio-kick or spinning enjoy the company of others and think positive thoughts about how great this workout is for your body, how strong it’s making your heart, how healthy it’s making your entire body, and how it’s one more step closer to achieving your goals.  Those negative messages don’t have to come pouring back when you’re workout is done though, go home and set yourself up for a long bath with eucalyptus and rosemary oils, good music, or some mindless perusal of fashion magazines. 

 

Constructive Criticism Of Toxic Behavior

While you’re processing the messages take a look at them and consider whether or not they’re constructive criticism coming from a person who simply doesn’t deal well with others and has an abrasive manner.  Many times people unintentionally say unkind things when trying to offer up constructive criticism.  Think about what was said and ask yourself if there is anything that can be gained from their statement.  Clearly the statement, “that dress makes you look heavy” can be an uncouth person’s way of saying “you might look better in something else”.  But it can also be the only way a toxic person knows how to express their inner anger, sadness or depression.  Many times people who are simply horrid at giving constructive criticism can be dealt with as easily as letting them know what they’re doing is hurtful and that they’re company would be much more pleasant if they’d lay off all the negativity.  If they still can’t seem to keep they’re lip buttoned around you let them know that they need to make an effort from then on to avoid you, and not the other way around.  You shouldn’t have to compromise your routine simply because of their personal problems.  Simply standing up for yourself is an amazing step toward personal empowerment.

 

Break The Cycle Of Abuse

It’s key for us to realize that many of the negative messages we receive from others are coming from a cycle of learned abuses and we can refuse to participate in that cycle by refusing to listen, believe or perpetuate the messages coming from toxic people.  Sit with the feelings, process them and allow them their own time and place.  Letting them fester and not dealing with them causes them to grow into painful wounds that only crop up later in life.  So set aside say 30 minutes of alone time and think about what was said to you.  Why does it hurt so much and what can you do to change that feeling of hurt?  Journaling about the feeling can be a big help in getting the negative feelings out.  Once that time is up get up and do something productive that makes you feel good about yourself.  Working out, getting your nails done, going shoe shopping.  Fun things  just for you and non-destructive help you to regain the sense of power those negative messages try to take away.  So go ahead and take that three-hour bubble bath but forgo the wine since one or two may help you unwind but two can easily slip into a couple bottles and a hangover’s never made anyone feel better. 

 

Use Methods Of Safe Confrontation 

If you’re in a position where you can directly let the person know that they’ve hurt your feelings then do so.  It’ll make you feel far better than letting it go and kicking yourself later for not saying something.  But don’t turn that hurt outwards onto them.  All they need to know is that you’re hurt by their words and won’t retaliate or indulge them by returning the hurtful words rather you want nothing more to do with the situation.  If it’s habitual behavior it’s best to get out of the situation for good otherwise walk away and don’t discuss the issue any further.  Most times the person who’s unloaded the negative messages on you won’t let you speak and will continually talk over you while you state your case.  This is fine.  The fact is that you know you said your peace and now you can move on.  If the negative messages are coming from the past your best bet is to journal about them and work things out on paper.  Once they’re no longer in your mind and take a physical manifestation you don’t need to carry them around anymore.  You can return to the journal any time you need to work it out, but once it’s on paper you never have to live it again.  In extreme cases you can make an appointment to speak with a therapist and work out particular issues if you find them consuming your life.

 

Sometimes The Best Recourse Is None At All

It sounds defeatist but sometimes there is simply nothing you can do or say that is going to make you feel any better about a situation and it just needs time to pass.  Arguing a point even one that you feel passionately about may get you nowhere at all if you aren’t dealing with a rational person.  Accept that you cannot argue or change the mind of an irrational person because they aren’t coming from a rational place.  Telling a person who has experienced severe abuses (be they emotional, physical, or verbal) which they have not properly healed from that you will not accept their behavior or making an effort in any way to reason with them may only make them angry and defensive and will yield absolutely no results.  Walk away, refuse to take part in it ever again, and congratulate yourself on getting one huge step closer to a healthier mind and body.

 

Ultimately it’s your decision on whether or not to allow negative messages to control our lives is the choice between what we choose to believe and what exists in reality.  Maintaining a positive attitude and keeping a list of motivational messages about yourself and your goals in your journal is a great way to combat negative messages on a daily basis.  As you watch your body change over the course of your new weight training regiment your internal self and mindset will begin to change right along with it and that translates into the realistic reflection of yourself that you put forth in your everyday life.  The new image your now working toward, the realistic one of the new woman your about to become is all yours if you’re ready to put the effort forth to create it.  The fact is that stars are made not born and it’s never too late to embrace a new you.  I’m here for you, Bombshell Buff Fitness is here for you and rest assured that the woman you see in the mirror every morning from now on is a work in progress so be kind to her –she’s on her way to Bombshell Buff status and deserving of all the good things that healthy living has to offer!

 

By Reneé Baisque
Fitness Model, National Physique Competitor, Personal Trainer, Fitness Seminar Speaker/Instructor, and professional chef.

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